Swathi incident - What's the point in continuous discussions and arguments?

My younger brother is is still having the black pic just as a sign of protest from nirbhaya case times. But what's the use of me and him only 'talking' about this. What change does it gonna make if he is retaining the black dot pic as his fb display pic.. And yes.. If change has to begin in the attitude of men, it can't come overnight. He and me have decided not to talk but do something sensible. We have started this from our family. It's not about showing off we have done this and that.  We have spoken too many things for too long and just we are talking only. And yes. No more talking this time. It's about questioning self. What is that you have done to safeguard the women around you.

What's that you did to ensure that your ma and sisters, friends in girls, Grandma and everyone stay safe.

Do they know to differentiate between What's normal and what's abnormal and risky.

Do they know what to do if they are being stalked or attacked.

Do they know when to carry and use a pepper spray?

But more than all these, do you know what is more important. It's about how we look at them. Until we start really seeing women as a co human being, there is no point in talking about these things.

So. What's actually stopping and blocking us?

To be honest, nothing. At least in the last generation, men claim to have ego. Man were considered as dominant and that was only because women folk didn't really come out of their shells. Women were unnecessarily glorified beyond threshold levels that any normal act they do breaking their shells, seems to be really haunting men.

That's why, at least a bunch of eyebrows raise when you find a girl casually smoking in a tea shop outside the big buildings. We have developed the skills to finely judge women just with superficial shallow observations.

We, men, say we are happy about women folk equally participating in the build up of the Society. But then, it's time we introspect about what our real intentions are. When is the last time, you lamented that a girl in your own rank was given a better perk just because she was a girl. Women at workplace, work hard, balance their work and personal life and when they are successful, they had to encounter this comment either directly or indirectly. "Oh she was a girl!!" and she got this. That's the reason, though they are really successful and deserving, people put women in a situation that they had to prove their positions won.

Again, let me not generalise any specific bunch of people. Unfortunately, the same happens everywhere. We are good at spotting identities for the person in consideration, and we really brand them based on that.

And finally the root cause for such a happening. It's our inability to accept the reality.

In fact it makes me think, that is the exact reason when this guy who stalked this girl couldn't admit the reality that she didn't reciprocate. He didn't know to vent out his helplessness. He took the extreme step to stab her.

What are we supposed to do to avoid this happening to any other girl in future. It all needs to be done in a sceptic wholesome way.

Naturally, let's assume the legislations, security and vigilance would be tightened up. As an individual, what's our responsibility in this?

1. Boys to be taught that girls are not aliens and they also possess heart like boys. Girls also came to this earth to exist and not for any specific purpose. Everyone is to be mutually protected.

2. It's disheartening to see that we are too much engrossed in our tasks that we take minimum or zero efforts when some crime happens in front of us. Though there are practical difficulties like the way you might be treated once you are a witness for a crime, or your personal work ahead of you, you should realize that there is one soul that can be saved by your shrewd attention.

3. Instead of telling the girls to stay Indoors to avoid issues, teach them all sort of self defense. Ensure they are made to realize that they are powerful from within. One such girl in a classroom of 50 might inspire the rest 49. Make them aware of all the law provisions.

4. Use your weapon. Even your phone camera could be a weapon. How many such cameras, the convict can hide himself from. The simple act of a click of a photograph, could be a life time help for the victim's family.

5. More importantly, it's our duty to exhibit and conduct ourselves setting the role model. A boy, who sees his dad beating his mom at his house, will try to physically attack a girl outside. What you sow, so you reap.

So.. Instead of just talking about the whole incident and speculating what could be the cause or effects, let's realize where we went wrong. Of course, the agony still prevails. But what's the point in merely feeling sad about this??